yeeeeeaaaahhh.!!!!
i passed ma 2.4.!!
okie fine its onie a trial.

been running fer 1 whole freakin monthy i gess.

n i passed bcs of de support given by ma fwens.
Tnx tu,

• Hui Min
• Cerenna
• Jasmine

sorie if i get ur names rong.

HOWEVER, [Mrs Ang sae cnnt use but.]
i still wana post tis cus im veri veri thankful tu de 3 of u, esp Hui Min. bcs of these 3 wonderful ladies, i passed ma 2.4 run. dey encouraged me tu run. whow. and i realie did. i ran ol de wae. i felt lyk crying bcs ma leg cudn't take it n dey r sendin de mxg tu ma brain n ma brain saes stop, but since Hui Min was beside me running, i kept on going, i didn't wana let her down. i olmost reached de endin point n i forced maslf real hard tu try sprinting, n i did. alil. i sprint leaving Hui Min behind. den i herd Mr Loo's voice.'Hurry up.' wif his deep voice. haha.

n yeaaaaaah.! i heard it.'18 mins. u pass, by 5 secs.' i was soo dizzy. nvr did i ran tt fast, non-stop. but yeah i passed.! thnk God, n de 3 wonderfull ladies.
thank you soo much.! cudn't haf done it with out you.!

wuhuu.!!
funn. fez tym tryin out de nyt class.
realie it was.

but no milos fer me, cus i cudn't drink em.
some probs wif milk.

de teachers were great.
free summore.
wat more wud u nid.
erms.. onie tu wait paitenly fer de teacher tu cum n teach u.

if ur lucky enuf, u mite even get tu use de newly air-conditioned rum.
i wanna cum bac again tmr.
more math fer me.
or mayb chem.
cus dre'll be a chem test tis fridae.

yeah.
cool. funn.
n FREE.!!

i felt lyk i hvnt bloged fr such a long tym.
well yeah, in skul ryt now.
tnx daer NORA, fer lettin me sign in tu ur acc tu use de comp.
dunnoe y ma acc cnnt use. mayb rong passwerd.
but all of em are our ic numbers ryt.??
hehs. maybe bcs i hvn't been usin de comp in skul for a long tym.
yeps. tt shud be it.

'you never cared. forget abt september. i hate you, guy'

seriously. it is u amad tarmizie.
or how ever u spell ur name.
hah. i dunnoe y ive been feelin tis wae.
i had, HAD, a feeling fer u.
nvr did i post ur name in dis blog before.
but wadahell.

i dun geddit.
everything is fatin fatin fatin n more FATIN.!!
n yeah, if i ddnt go tu ur skul's open hse lst yr, mayb it was n xlent choice.
but no. i HAD tu go. n brought her along.!
but dere wer non other t i cud have brought along. only her.
one n only her.

shit i hate her.!
i hate myself.
i hate you.

wts wif de mxg.
selame nie ko tk pena kisah. CARE.!
u mxged her instead of me wen u wanted tu ask us out, despite me being de fez one u neu.
or maby ur jus usin ma name.
ah shits.!
wat crapt m i crapt-ing abt.??
main point, i hate you.!

ahh.!
asl.? ko terase.?
bler aku type aku nye nick mcm gitu.?
wts wif de mxg abt hating de world, NOT, bcs im part of it.?

naive.? childish.? kol me wateve u wan. i dun care.
tis IS me.!
i am hue i am.
n THIS me ryt noe, HATES YOU.!

'it was pure laughter wen u came. then u srt tu fade away. n ur suddenly gone. since den i nvr tot u cared, sincerly. n hatred fill de spaces of laughters whic faded away wif you. so tell me, issit wrong fer me tu hate you.? E N C I K M . . .'


yeah.! tell me, issit rong fer me tu hate u.?
gimmie reasons.
i dun care if its childish.
cus i noe i am.
i cannot accept things wen they happen.
i cannt learnt tu xapt em.
NEVER.

wat i freakin du is yak yak yak about it ma whole freakin lyf.

hate u hate u hate u hate u.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yeah. n i hate myself for having haf known you.

i hate de new vp.!
yeah. as she sae,
after what de p sae, i am ur god-father,
she is our god-mother.

but wadahell.??!!!
she is biased i gess.
i think. i feel.
i FELT it so terok.

she asked me tu step out bcs ma skirt was short, TU HER.
but in fact, its not at all.!
its olreadie coverin half ma knee cap.
i am seriously not happy about it.
n im not gona alter it.
as if i freakin care.

n ma dear god-father said tt he didnt wan us tu attract de rong ppl's attention as tu joining their gang.
i noe gang is rong.
n he sae he dsn't wan us tu hang ard wif guiz after skul.
wic im not doin.
n he sain he dsn't wan us tu wear mini-skirts. MINI-SKIRTS.!
n shall i ask you,
is wearin a skirt up till coverin half de knee-cap considered a mini-skirt.?
of cus de ans is a definite no.

yea. i dunoe y im okie wif god-father, or shud i kol him daddy,
but not wif god-mother, mummy.

haha. wts wif de mummy n daddy.

but still i feel that it wasnt right for her tu un pick de ghurl's, opps, lady's skirt becus it was sew usin de sewing machine. n she pulled it hard that i cud see small lil holes.
n if de lady is a lower sec student, its okie cus she can buy a new skirt, but no, its a sec 4, graduating student.!

i was soo shocked.!

nvr had i felt bad being in west spring.
but now i think what other students frm other skuls had been sain is true.
west spring is a skul fer de nerds.

its not tht im descriminating de skul, but im just stating de fact.

students frm other skuls had been sain tu me,
'West Spring.? skola kental.!'
wich means west spring, skul fer de nerds.
some even koled our skul,
'spring chicken'
n it actualie brought shame tu me. seriously i did.
i don't even noe de xact reason y.
i even felt lyk cryin,
but i jus let de thought fly,
jus pretend tt nth had happen.

i cud still rmmbred teachers checkin our skirts bac wen i was in sec 2, 2 yrs ago,
2 fingers were placed above our knee-cap, tt was our minimum length.

n i don't deny tt i was one of those hue saed abt de long skirts, sweeping de floor.
cus i was seriously shocked as tu why was i being asked tu step out.
n my skirt was realy covering half my knee-cap olreadie.

haiss.
i hope de skul wud realie look intu tis matter of biasness.

its veri late n i dunot wish tu contineu, now,
but maby tmr.

wen de sign 'no visitors' wif a red backgrng is pasted on de door, it simply means, YOU CANNOT GO IN.!!! BLOODY STOOPID PPL BRINGING VIRUSES.!!!


i am soo veri bloodyly pissed off wif my granddad.!

ma aunt's olreadie infected wif an unknown virus.
n shes runnin a fever.

even before this happened,
de doc had olreadie disallow visitors.
bcs her skull was removed.
wen de skull is removed,
viruses can easily go tu de brain ryt.?
eventhough dere's a layer of skin.

but nooo.!
tis bloody stoopid person called ppl tu come n see his daughter.
i noe he is damn it worried abt her,
n ask ppl tu cum n sae prayers tu her,
but dey can du it at home ryt.?
it will still reach GOD, n god will do protect her ryt.?

n all tis BLOODY STOOPID people,
are TOO BLOODY STOOPID, n TOO BLOODY BLIND,
cud not read de sign pasted on de glass door sain;
'NO VISITORS' in BLOD n had a red background.

de nurses did allow us tu go in,
but only very very very very very very very very close cousins are allowed.
and TWO AT A TIME.

but my DEAREST grandad brought 8, [EIGHT.!] people in.
n de nurse cud not du anithin.

n his freakin voice is sooo freakin loud.
n ma dear aunt needs her rest.
her condition is not even stable.

his wife had tu 'shoo' away oll tis people away.
n he shouted at her.
damn bloody stoopid.

he fought wif ma youngest aunt,
n she cried.
ma mum n me n ma fest aunt rushed tu de hospital.

ma mum was soo angry.
she 'shooed' him away.
saying tht his wife's legs are swollen.
n told him not tu cum tmr.

haiss.
such unlucky situation.
even his wife hue cud not read english words understood de red background.
she said;
'Nenek tengok ade kaler merah maknenye tak boleh. macam no entry sign.'
wich actualie means,
' i saw de red coloured sign, wich mins no, just lyk de no entry sign.'

gosh.!
someone hue is not related cud understand,
y carnt he.??!!!

n yes his wife is not related bcs she is his second wife, after ma grandmum passed away.




nvmind ol these crapts.
i had a funn dae at madrasah [religious sch/cls]
basicly bcs someone made ma dae.!!

haha he gave me a free drink.!
wuhuu.
imagine gettin a free drink at mc donals.
best.!!
its lyk im oderin at mc [bcs deres nth left in de canteen].
ma fwen asked fer a student filet meal n i asked fer a mc chicken.
wthout meal, jus de buger.
den he said dowan drink ah.?
den i sae dowan bcs no money.
den he gave ma a drink.
haha.
cerazie.!
hahahahaha.
thnx u laa.!
lobe u loats la.
haha
lyk real onnie.
n den i gta save a dollar.! yeah.!!

wen tru anader operation,
thursdae.
doc sae her brain is swollen, xpanding.
so doc cut part of de skull tu let de brain xpand freely,
release de pressure.
haiss.

still cnnt go in tu see her.
granddad dsn't noe abt it.
if he dse, he'll cry untill de sky drops.

hopes her condition stable-ise soon.
den i can go in n see her again.
maybe even talk tu her.

till den, i'll be missin her loads.
pray-in hard.

aunt was in de operation room thingyi for abt 2 hours ydae nyt.
wen dey pushed her out frm de ICU,
i was olreadie so soo scared.
my fez aunt cried bside me,
her 3rd son cried till his eyes had gone red,
my mum cried,
my uncle cried,
my 2nd aunt cried a bit,
i cried.

lucky granddad wsnt dere.
yesterdae he cried lyk she was his onie daughter.
no doubt he was damn worried abt her conditions,
but he was lyk yelling;
'god.! save my daughter. . . .'
those kinda stuffs.
ppl walkin in looked at him.
ol his grandkids, wic actualie r ma sisters n me onie at tt point of tym, n oso his fez grandkid n his wife,
tried tu calm him down

her head was shaved.
dey wer supose tu place some baloon thingyi some wher in da head,
tu monitor her brain.
cus her brain is goin thru too much pressure.
n so dey r monitorin it.
b4 it gets worst n dey crnt du anithin about it.

im jus hoping n pray-ing tt she'll get better n get out frm de ICU.
u guys pray wif me aights.?
tnx.

hah.!
soo much fer de 'i miss atie'.

y did u mxg her.?

shud haf noen.
shudn't haf gone wif her.
shudn't haf gone at ol.
shudn't haf met u.
shudn't haf xchanged numbers.
shudn't haf intro myslf.
shudn't haf chat-ed.
shudn't haf xapted ur fwen request.

shits. i hate u.!
but i lov-ed u.
hate myslf fer tt.

ish.!

if u realie mean wt u said tu her,
u shud be chatin wif me rite now.
but no. u didn't even bother to type a 'hi'.

i won't b goin.
even though i miss u a-freakin-load.
its not worth it.
you're not worth it.

aniwaes ma aunt's in de ICU.
somethin i shudn't talk about hapen.

YOU WON'T NOE how much I HATE YOU.!

cann u imagine some send a mxg tu u tru fwenster.
thinkin is a random mxg from a random someone who is connected tu u by ur fwens,
u replied.

little did u noe,
now ur afraid of tis person.
becus tis person seem so engrossed in being fwens wif u cus tis person kept on askin tis n tat n tis an tt.
n worst part is,
YOU DON'T EVEN NOE TIS PERSON'S NAME.!!
n tis person looks lyk some 'perogol bersiri'.
OMG.!!!

tis is so soo veri scarrie.!

hehe
but i dunnoe
i'll jus won't reply de next mxg i gess.
scarry. he is. veri. i am. scared.

yes. you r ryt.
it is abt her.

but hey.
its okie.

well maybe,
she thinks tt i onie go bac tu her for her warm huggs.
yes.
i cnnt deny.
her hugs are warm
n i onie hug her wen im down.
but i still talk tu u ppl in sch ryt.?
its not lyk as if i look at ol of you n roll my eyes.
show de wateve face.

did i.?
maybe i did wif out noticing.
if i did,
then im sorry.

manusia dilahirkan ke dunia tidak sempurna.
sedangkan nabi yang akn masuk ke surga, tetap membuat kesilapan,
apatah lagi aku,
seorang insan biasa.


ampun maaf ingin ku pinta.

wen out wif aten naq fid n in.
cool.! fez tym go tu national library.
haha
den we went tu far east tu eat.
wanton. hais.
too many ppl. nvr take foto.

den we walked tu heeren.
den wanted tu go bac tu shaw hse tu go tu mac cafe

i tot tt dere was a mc cafe at plza singapura
so we walked ol de wae dere.
but shits.
no mac cafe.!!!

i was soo soooo guilty
naq realie wanted smthin frm mc cafe.
instead, she bought a med light coke, so did i.
n aten bought an ice cream.

so frm dere we bought 700 ol de wae tu esplanade.
tu marins sq actualie.
den deres mac cafe dere.!!!
so in bought a double choc.
so did i.
n let naq drink tu her hearts content.
cus i was so soo guilty.
hehe

fid wen home fez bcs she has tu reach home befor 9.
den we walk2.
den naq need tu rush home.
so we walk quickly. very very fast seyy.

aten n naq wen;
kiri kiri kiri kanan ouch.!

haha i dunnoe wt dats ol about.

walk, cross de road, walk, jay-walk, walk again, wait, cross de road again, walk veri2 fast again, runn, walk, got de bus, slept in de bus, press bell, salam de 3 of dem, wen off board de bus, walk. . .

hehe
de end.!

p.s
naq. i reallie am veri veri super duper guilty.
sorie kie.?

okie.
yesterdae she scold me ryt.?
cus i was talkin 'loudly'-- according tu her,
while she was duin de 'ujian momok 4'

n i was continuin ma 'ujian momok 4' just now,
n her 'group' n herself wer talkin.
shit you la.!
n singing sumore.!

kurang aja sak.!
biadap.!!!

okie fine ah lau ko nak kene kan aku balek.!
but still, smlm aku cume bobual biler syir tnye je kan.
tu pon aku rase tak de la kuat mcm tarzen tepekik telolong kann.??!!
ape sak sala aku.
aku tetap tegur korang everydae ape.?

comon la.
fine ah.
go grab ur 7 A1s.
kau nye pasal la.
*rolls eyes*

u noe, u didn't haf tu raise ur voice wen talkin tu me.
u hate me now.?
i can see. u didn't wave bac at me tt tuesdae wen i waved.
u didn't even look lyk u care.
nvm its okie.

but ma heart shrank wen u asked me tu shut.
its not lyk as if i was de onie one talkin.
but i saed sorry, i dun tink u care aniewae.
n lyk i didn't speak de whole tym,
syir asked me wat was told abt de Nonoi case wich was on de news,
so i jus told her wat i saw.
n tt u raised ur voice.
but, nvm its okie.

i dunoe y i keep sain its okie.
wen de actual fact is tt i noe is not.
n i olways forgif ppl easily.
jus wif da snap of da fingers.
i dunnoe y.
am i weak.?
but y.?
now tis stuff matters.
ouh fishballs.

but its ...

n dere i go again.
haish.

cool-ing out.

haha. when i think about it,
i can onie forget someone wen i haf someone else in mind.
haha.

n now i realie haf tu concentrate.
realie haf tu.
hehe
so i made a fake person.
haha kul.? nono. stoopid.? haha yes.!

hehe
basicly his name is Samad Sabri.
haha wher it came frm.?
i oso dunnoe. serious.!

n i was thinkin abt Mr "'O'lvl cert"
haha. anader stoopid thing.
well im sure i'll gt tu kiss him once i get de 'perfect' him nxt yr if i work hard now ryt.??

haha.
its stupid i noe.
hehe
but tts wat i haf tu du.

28 weeks tu prelims.!
gtg.!

jing yi darlz. tnx fer de ciiute sticker.!

dear Jing yi,
i am veri sory for not updating.

hehe
okie so nothin great has been goin on.
jus normal ups n downs.
n further more, we onie haf 28. i repeat. TWENTY-EIGHT. weeks left till perlims.
im soo worried.
i ddnt studie fer de chem test.
n i crnt even catch up.
n ma mummie's scoldin me everitym i wana on de comp.

haizz.

aniwae darling, tnx fer reading ya. at least someone came ryt.?
haha.

n yes. NORA,hehe.
tt was lyk so soo long tym ago. maybe we shud sing tt song we 'composed' durin teacher's dae.?
haha. wif ol de banggins n clappins.
haha kull.

n im still waitin fer prom nyt.hehe

atie: cough cough.
khad: atie baek.

haha. i still dun geddit.
hee.

its okie i'll wait.
waiting is a must in lyf.
tt's wat i've lernt.

n im sure i'll be okie.
i'll be strong.
go gym wif me ah. hehe
okiekie. im jus fakin tis out.

maybe lyf is a stage.
fakin everythin.

ouh yes. belom gosok uniform.!
okie peeps gtg.!

love u ppl.!

question of de dae.
wat drink cn u buy wif $2.
haha. tt was at madrasah.

cool out.
..? haha

tell me wich is worst.

she, walk in, saes common interest, common became diff, bitched, betrayed, bitched again, make a fool outa me, strugglin tu let her go.

OR

he, walk in, jokes, laughs, told scores, walk out.


ouh damn. i find both terok.!
haha.
comments.?
haha

i hope i'll get some. okie at least one.

puhleese.!
=D

Nurul Atikah bte Sari
as in da IC/BC
Atie is seriously preferred
turninged 7-teen
4-teen december 9-teen9ty
mood-swing--er
grps; wsss; rp-pharmaceutical sci