JUST KILL ME NOW LAH.!
WHAT IN THE HELL ARE YOU WAITING FOR.??

I DON'T WANA TAKE MY O'S.
I DON'T WANA LIVE WITH UNTRUSTABLE PEOPLE.
I DON'T WANA BE LOOKED DOWN AT.
I DON'T WANA BE THIS WAY.
I DON'T WANA CARE ABOUT OTHERS ANYMORE.
I DON'T WANA BE LAUGHED AT ALWAYS, ANYMORE.

I JUST HATE MY LIFE GET IT.??

am i just so hateable.?
am i so soo evil.?
am i very killer-looking.?
am i just so negative.??

i need a hug.
can someone hug me now please.??
any kind person out there.?
any hug-giver.?

am i so different that...
am i so very different.?
how different am i.?

shut up, stop it already.!
i cannot take it anymore okay.?
i really don't wish to live anymore.
someone hug me as tight as possible and let me struggle to death.
cus i long to be hugged, and wish to die as well.

its aten's bade, naQ not goin, so isnt syira, n daddy's coming home very soon.
shit i hate it.
i mean its seriously coming fast. real fast.
how am i to cope.?
how.? how.?? seriously..HOW.?

PRAC IS IN 2 DAYS'IME OKAY.??!!
fer de sub sci tt is.
they are ol not going. confirm.
naQ is already otw to johor i believe.
its fatin's bdae n i doubt she wud wana study,
n since naQ's not coming, so issint syira.
and im left alone.
i dun wana go alone.
haiiyah.! so leceh.!!

y muz de ppl der be bloody irritating.??
stupid people.!
don't they have other things to do.?
i can go alone if i want to.
but its a matter of if i can survive or not.

haizz.
so leceh
i wish tt somone wud go study wif me todae.

i wana go jogging can.?
its been long okay.
uuh.
maybe i can ask jingyi to come study with me this evening.
dush la.
i'll try.

i wan see him. pls tell me he's working tonight..please.!

do I look like I am a very good listener.?
or do I act like as if I am one.?
does it seem to you that I am one.?
how much of a listener am I.?
am I a very very good one.?

do I look like a councilor to you.?
one whom you can talk to when you're in doubts.?
one who can give advices.?

am I being too much of a friend.?
or am I just being too ME.?
am I me.? or you made me into me.?

must I always be there for someone in need.?
how much in need are they in the first place.?
must I put their feelings before mine.?
do they even think of mine.?

would I be selfish if I put mine first.?
why should I be in the first place.?
its mine n I must care for it, right.?
does it hurt to think about mine for once.?

why do I have loads of questions.?
especially ones like this.?
why don't I have the answer.?
Where are the bloody answers.?

i seriously bloodly hate this OKAY.??


actually this is not the problem.
i don't know what the real problem is. seriously.


everything sucked right from the start cann.??

why must problems occur.?
why are the solutions so very far away.?
if +ves are good n -ves are bad,
and poeple only want +ves but never -ves,
then why does -ves exits in the first place.??

haiyyah..!! so iiritating.
DUSH.! hit me now la.

its been long. very long i feel.
i miss blogging but what can i do when my computer is down again.
and i have to resort to using my sis' comp.
n yah, muz see her mood to.
haiz. prelims are over. and did i tell u that de results were very TEROK.?
yes yes. very.

i have to really sit down and study very hard, properly.
stop all the story time. haha. IMPOSSIBLE.!!
maybe cutting down.?
haha okie.



haizz. can someone tell me if i'd been giving too much.?
and not receving as much.?
i mean i know that i have to be there for my friends.
but issit too much to ask for if i dun't wan to be there fer them at least once.?
but its jus too hard for me to push them aside.

now can someone tell me if i'm being too nice to them.?
i dun get it.
where do i draw the line.?
HOW am i suppose to draw that line.?
would it even hurt.?
it hurts trying to tell them off.

hmm..
not suppose to haf this in mind at all okay.?
im suppose to concentrate fer de Os which is so sooo round de coner.
i really dunnoe wt to do now.

does doing wtever friends asked to be done helps.?
i mean it does not irritate them right.?
but i'll hurt me. a whole lot sometimes.
how do i go about doing things.? that does not hurts.?
are there such things.?

everyone has a secret.
so do i.
i like someone before.



i liked him so soo much.
y muz u noe.?
kay was de letter tt i picked out.
cus i noe SOMEONE out there is going to find out about kay.
noe i think he likes my sister.
DUSH. its okay la.
i like someone else.
i dunnoe y.
hit me okay.?

i dunnoe wt more to say.

too friendly.?
too much giving than taking.?
too little thoughts for oneslef.?
too soft.?

you might be going..'err.. she's thinking soo good about herself.'
but du u thing tt its not true.?
reflect.
or should I reflect.?
hmm..

prelim was BAD.

results are WORSE.!!

sharks i hate this. super duperr hate this.!! this suck to da blody core.
ouh elydia wlecum.!! veri bz. will link u up shortly oryt.?

de worts crapt is, i bloodyly scored an F9 fer my geo. yeah, my paper 2 was de worst cae senario.!! fer once i failed my phy n pass my chem. got a grade of 5.5 i gess, when its combined togader. hrmph.! got a 6 fer math n a 5 fer eng. unxpacted.!

i still dunnoe my mly grade. ckgu yati mati2 nak cari de results untk oral, err lisan. dier kate ade, cume blm jumpe. haha. HAHA.! how cann.? i dun even rmmbr taking mly oral, only fer O lvl.

okie, if my grade fer mly is da same as my O's result, i haf an L1R4 of 21.!!! ouh dush.!
i did better for my mid yr.! i got an 18 then. My only setisfaction is my dnt.
dush.! yahyah.! if only i had done my folio better-ly, i cud haf gotten an A1. HIT ME LAA.!

i wan to die cann.? i so so hate this, really.!!

i wanted an av grade of 3.6. but i received an av of 4.2. which is like a huge difference of 0.6.!! ARRGGHHHHHHH.!! can someone kill me now.??
haizz. i really dunnoe what to do now. i had tried my best n i only haf 4 weeks left.!




okie fer now. veryt sleepy ler.
i wish tt i wud be allowed to not attend sch tmr.

Nurul Atikah bte Sari
as in da IC/BC
Atie is seriously preferred
turninged 7-teen
4-teen december 9-teen9ty
mood-swing--er
grps; wsss; rp-pharmaceutical sci